she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
