you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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