suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
