and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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