If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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