what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
