How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
