What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
