I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize