i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
