Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize