I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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