o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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