i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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