end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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