I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize