but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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