did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
