Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
