Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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