I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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