Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
