Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I AM VODKA MAN
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
