You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
