So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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