My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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