hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
