so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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