I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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