My room smells like vodka and shame
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
