Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
