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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing

  (719): View more from Colorado

  The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  No, you can still breathe under the balls.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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• (585): View more from New York

  I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Two dicks, one me.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yoga's definitely paying off.

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• (518): View more from New York

  How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You brought string cheese to the strip club

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Interlocking vagina powers go!!'

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?

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