i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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