so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
