im drinking this country out of the recession.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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