grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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