So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
