This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
