420 ftw
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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