i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
