Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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