So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
