she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
