dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
