and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
