..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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