The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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