well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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