my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize