Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Come on in and take your pants off
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