Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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