the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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