OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize