Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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