It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
