Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
