Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
