We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
