oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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