i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So much Jack, so little girl.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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