I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
