i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
