So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
