I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
