yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize