Define "chronic" masturbator.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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