super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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