foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
