I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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