just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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