it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I need to sanitize my soul.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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