i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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