Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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