u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
