Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's never too late to be topless.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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