I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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