For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am naked and annoyed.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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